I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
