Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
