well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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