that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
