69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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