Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
