i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize