I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize