i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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