Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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