fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
