yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
