I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
