Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
