Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
wow bdsm is so cute
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
