Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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