so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
