ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm bleeding and have questions
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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