I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
