2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
