I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
