I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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