Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
