so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I licked your asshole in confidence.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
