The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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