8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
