Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
