hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
