put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
