as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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