Banned from zoo.
Again?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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