I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
