Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
