New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
