The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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