White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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