Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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