I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
