She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
