im drinking this country out of the recession.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
