if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
