I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
