Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
