My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
