Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
