Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
