belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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