So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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