I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
