ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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