but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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