you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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