you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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