hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
