OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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