tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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