he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
