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• (586): View more from Michigan

  This girl is very crazy

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's one of those compassionate ppl

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

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• (646): View more from New York

  My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra

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• (718): View more from New York

  Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor

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• (585): View more from New York

  So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange

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• (315): View more from New York

  I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.

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