So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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