on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You are a genius and a whore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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