Pants 0. Shit 1.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
