i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
