Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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