so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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