I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
