i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
