i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
